


patience (losing patience)

by fanficloverme96



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, it can be a misleading, no self-harming in spite of summary, romance that can't be, this is sad, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/fanficloverme96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I trusted you."</p><p>"You didn't show it."</p><p>(he likes pain. he accepts it. it makes him feel real)</p>
            </blockquote>





	patience (losing patience)

**Author's Note:**

> Title refers to song Timeless by Reece Mastin.

when it comes to love, he falls hard.

he falls headfirst on the ground and takes in the pain and he gets up and starts over. he likes the pain-appreciates it,even- and he would do it again and again because-

when he feels pain, he knows it’s real. he knows it’s there.

“the dinner’s lovely,” she is saying, a smile on her face.

“I’m glad,” he smiles back because it’s expected of him. she smiles, he’ll smile back. a camera flashes. she ducks her head and reaches for his hands. he lets her.

planned.

scripted.

entirely painless.

he hates it.

* * *

 

*

three days later, the boys are at a rehearsal for an award show. he messes up the lyrics. he feels something warm gripping his hand. he turns.

green eyes. they are looking at him. he couldn’t help it. he smiles. the boy with the green eyes smiles back.

the management isn’t pleased.

it’s painful having to turn away from him. but he takes the pain in. at least it’s real. he’s thankful.

* * *

 

*

tumblr and twitter explode. there are pictures and analysis and videos. he lets an amused bark of a laugh. of course, they noticed. it would have been strange if they didn’t.

he tweets something. just for something to do.

“’it’s nice having something to fall back on when you’re falling down :)”

it has 5000 retweets in five minutes. the management makes him delete it. he catches the eyes of the other boy across the room. the boy looks at him back.

there is pain in that gaze. he takes it in.

he is thankful.

* * *

 

*

“ _ **The start of a new romance???!!!**_ ” screams the newspaper headlines. he slams the newspaper against the wall and stalks off.

of fucking course. he would have expected it. he should have expected it.

the usual things. the boy. a girl. they’re in the car. the girl ducks her head. the boy hardly looks ‘in love.’ he hates it. it’s the same thing every single year.

the pain settles in his chest, flaring and never dulling.

he accepts it. he should. he will.

* * *

 

*

“you said we were on break!”

“that’s because we need it!”

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad.”

“I trusted you.”

“you certainly didn’t show it.”

it hurts, hearing those words. they’re true. he didn’t show it. he wants to, though.

the pain makes his heart hurt. the boy walks away with a huff.

“ _ **Bromance??**_ ” shouts the next newspaper headlines the next day. the boy looks drunk on the front page. so is the other boy with him.

he feels numb. there is no pain. he’s too drained for that.

he hates it.

* * *

 

*

they are kissing.

the room is dark and he can’t feel anything other than the hot breaths on his skin and warm hands touching him everywhere. he hears nothing but wet sounds of mouths meeting mouths, tongue meeting tongues.

he grips the bedsheet. there is a sudden spark of pleasure that shoots up his spine and leaves him breathless. he opens his eyes. green eyes stare back.

“sorry,” the boy whispers. he simply kisses him. there is no time for apologies. he has no time for that.

he has no time for anything now.

there is pain.

he welcomes it, burying his face in the boy’s neck. he accepts it.

* * *

 

*

he wakes up in an empty bed. of course.

the boy is nowhere in the apartment. he asks his friends about it. they shoot him an apologetic look. “on a date,” they say. the news on the tv confirms it. the boy is holding hands with a different girl now. dark hair, long legs and perfect.

it hurts.

he doesn’t want to take it in.

**Author's Note:**

> I was actually working on a (happier, much much happier) fic but i got writer's block so this happens.
> 
> Unbeta-ed so please tell me if there's any mistakes. Love to hear your thoughts :)
> 
> @MeliaJeager on twitter.


End file.
